Swimming and a conversation

Pryce is a swimmer. He has loved swimming from day one. We spent most of the first three years of his life in Florida where swimming is, of course, huge. In fact, by the time he was old enough to take swimming lessons, he had already taught himself how to swim. When he was 3, I can vividly remember him yelling at us (as well as the lifeguard at our neighborhood pool who was watching him carefully) not to help him.....he had jumped in the deep end of our pool, his head was above water (very important), his arms were moving quickly, his legs moving even quicker and he somehow managed to make it safely to the side of the pool without any adult intervention. He was (and still is) fearless in the water. In fact, Pryce, who is 2 years younger than Colin, taught Colin how to jump into the deep end. He simply loves the water. Every year around January Pryce starts to wonder why no one is swimming in our neighborhood pool (nevermind that it is typically COLD at this time). And every January I ask Pryce if he wants to take swim lessons at the local Y and every year he says yes due to the fact that he just wants to be in a pool. So, this year being no different, I signed Pryce up for swimming lessons and he is happily enjoying himself in a pool. He loves it! Last week I had Mason-Kate with us during Pryce's lesson. Another mom and I were chatting and she asked me how bonding has been with Mason-Kate. Most people ask the questions that I am used to, the "normal" things like how is she doing or how is life with a little girl or how old was she when we got her. But the bonding question was a new one. Without hesitation, I began to tell her that I could honestly say, for us, bonding/attachment has been, for the most part, exactly as it was with our boys. It has been a process and has occurred in stages. Before any of our children were placed in our arms for the first time, we loved them, cared for them and desired to protect them. We did not know them, we did not know what made them happy or sad or what position they liked to be held in or the fastest way to soothe them. We had to learn each of them and what made them tick. While "learning" them, we fell in love with them, their habits, their quirks and thus, the bonding/attachment process fell into place. Looking back on our first year (can't believe it has been a year), I can see the stages with Mason-Kate. The first stage was before we met her in China. We received her referral call, I began researching where she was, I found out that people can sponsor children in her orphanage to receive more individualized care for several hours of the day and I immediately emailed the person in charge to arrange for MK to be sponsored. I wanted to make sure she received the best care possible until we could be with her. March 17th came. We met MK. She was hesitant. We had to be intentional, just as we did when our boys were infants. We had to show Mason-Kate that we would care for her, feed her, play with her, essentially, we had to build trust. Then came introducing her to church and school and just our busy life in general, our everyday activities that she would have to become accustomed to. She needed security. We had to teach her to feel secure to explore new situations. Mason-Kate was not so open to this part at first but with a lot of encouragement, patience, a lot of repetitiveness, a lot of words, and a lot of trying, I think we have accomplished this. I know because where she used to seek Ryan's arms out at any point she did not feel comfortable, she now seeks our eyes for approval. She allows us to comfort her, in fact, she now expects it. Her cries are different. In the beginning, she screamed out of pure fear when we would leave. Now she cries because we leave but it is saddness that I hear, not fear or anger. She wants us with her. I write about all of this because this is our experience. Fortunately, for us, all has fallen into place and we can't imagine it any other way.