15 (16) Things You Should Never Say To An Adoptive Family....

I "borrowed" this post from another blog. Some apply to us, but not all. Probably my favorite is #14. Adoption has always been on my heart. Before adoption became a reality in our personal lives, I remember reading my "trash" magazines and seeing photos of celebrities and their children. The captions would (and still do) read, "so and so with their son, blah, and ADOPTED son, blah...." My response to this was always, "Why? Why does it matter if a child was adopted or bio or whatever?" It should not matter. A child is a child, and their family is their family no matter how they all came to be.

1) "Were they a package deal?"
2) "Are they real sisters? They are? Really? What a blessing they have their REAL sister."
3) "Can I go get me one of them too?"
4) After repeatedly saying they're beautiful, and having a 5 year old tell you her beauty comes from her heart, you say, and I quote: " Well, you are beautiful on the outside too and that is what counts."
5) Frantically pointing to a multi- racial adoptive family, and exclaiming loudly, "My daughter loves to look at girls like those. Look Honey, see those Chinese girls? Look at their eyes."
6) "Oh bless your heart. Nobody would have wanted a child with such extensive medical issues. You must be a saint to take her."
7) And let's not forget the pathetic attempt at humor: "Which aisle did you find them on?" or "Look what Home Depot now sells."
8) "How much do they cost?" "Did you get a discount for getting two since the little one is in a back brace?"
9) "How did you get 2 purty ones? Did you get to pick them out yourself?"
10) And of course everyone's favorite: "You can't have....you know, ummm.... your OWN kids?"
or another version- "Did you try to have your OWN kids before you resorted to adoption?"
11) "Girls, do you know how lucky you are?"
12) "I hear China throws their girls out like garbage. Was your daughter found dumped on the road?"
13) "I bet they're really smart. Is that why you adopted from China? All Asians are smart you know."
14) "This is Ryan and Beth, and their sons Colin and Pryce, and their ADOPTED daughter Mason-Kate."
15) And last but not least: "Why didn't you adopt from the U.S.? Why would you pick China over your own country?"

Now, I must add a number.......

16) "Why is she so brown and you are so not?".....though we have never been asked this by an adult, children will not hesitate to comment on MK's beautiful brown skin. Recently, Pryce and MK were playing at a park. A little girl approached Pryce and asked her the skin question. His response: "Well, it is because I adopted her from China!" Love that he said he adopted her from China....that ownership/protective spirit, perfect.

Homeschooling is going great. The boys love it and I do too! One great thing that we incorporate into our schooling is called Impact Co-Op. Every Tuesday afternoon the children attend co-op to learn about science, art and geography. They are grouped into a classroom setting with other children their age. P's class is studying the human body. This week they made brain caps. I thought this was a genius idea....too cute seeing all of these little brains running around. The class also indulged in a cake decorated like a brain. Great fun.

This weekend we celebrated C's 1/2 birthday.....wow, in 6 months I will be the parent of a double digit child! Following that celebration, MK attended her first official "friend" birthday party for a little girl in her class. Selfishly, I was glad to see the little girl cry when everyone sang to her....MK cries when we sing Happy Birthday to her, she says it scares her. Sunday afternoon we spent with Ryan's family, had a cookout and the boys brushed up on their baseball skills with their cousins. Monday we were up bright and early to claim our place for the annual Labor Day parade in the town that I grew up in. This parade is like no other.....it is all about the candy and how much candy you get and that is pretty much what it has always been about. As a child, I remember being disappointed when we traveled to Disney World for the first time, viewed the parade and they did not throw candy....that wasn't a parade! The children, of course, loved it and will now be needing monthly visits to the dentist.

Following the parade, we all gathered at my parent's house to celebrate my nephew's second birthday. Strange to think that on his birthday two years ago, we knew nothing of MK....not even that she was born and waiting for us in China.

California - Day 8

Once again, we awoke to a beautiful, clear sky day in San Francisco. Following breakfast, we took a swim at the hotel and then drove quickly into the city for lunch. And then, after lunch, we attended Matthew and Deborah's wedding at UC Berkeley in a redwood grove. It was a very intimate ceremony, only close friends and family attended. The bride and groom said their own very sincere vows. Simple and nice. After the wedding, everyone was invited to a dinner reception. At the reception, another cousin's wife, from Taiwan, tried speaking Mandarin to MK just to see if she had retained any of the Chinese vocab....MK stared blankly at her and was more interested in running with her brothers. Towards the end of the reception, the crowd was asked to share some stories or words of congrats with the new couple. C approached Ryan and asked if he could say something. Just like a little man, C held the microphone, smiled at everyone and began his congratulatory speech to Matthew and Deborah - his words were well received. Then the dancing began....this is the part where I really wish I had taken my camera to record some of the dance moves my children have in them. They were all over the place, all three of them....MK was twirling, the boys were doing a little jig here and another there, and all the while, they giggled at the fun they were having. Very cute. Alas, the fun ended here....after a more than perfect week away in Cali, the good times had to come to an end. We said our goodbyes, climbed into bed - of course, we had ice cream first, and slept peacefully until 5 the next morning....then we were airport bound to begin our journey home. I must share that my boys are the best travelers....they each toted their own carry on bag, along with a clipboard full of goodies to do on the plane, they were all smiles through the airports, they seated themselves once on the plane and even came up with a way to share the window seat without parent intervention....they really make us want to travel with them. They love the excitement and we love watching them take it all in. MK does well too, she is not much for the take-off/landing but once in the air, she relaxes enough. Her strong point on this trip was the fact that she just went with the flow and enjoyed it all as much as we did. Lesson 8....lesson 8, I think we learned this one everyday during our trip....seeing things through a child's eyes can be so intriguing if you allow yourself to open your own eyes to their imaginations. I say this because, when we first decided to go to California, Ryan suggested only the two of us go and I suggested we take the children mainly because Ryan and I have been twice so I wanted to explore with the kids. Yes, it was work, but gosh it was so rewarding to hear their comments and watch their expressions/reactions to what was being introduced to them.



These photos are random, ones that we either really like or they make us really laugh.