Tonight, as I came in late from a meeting, I was met at the door by a little girl who calmly asked, "Mommy, can I speak to you in your room?" There was a toddler at my feet so excited to see me, two boys wanting my ears to tell me about the baseball game, one little girl who, at 9:00pm still had not eaten dinner, and one little girl who clearly needed me more at that moment than the other four combined. We stepped away from the chaos and into my room we went.
Immediately, the tears flowed. Feeling as though she needed this moment, I let her cry and then asked what was wrong. She looked at me and through sobs she said, "Mommy, I don't want to be from China. I don't want to talk about my lip."
And I sat dumbfounded. I wanted to scoop her up and protect her from everything and everyone who was to ever question her adoption and her cleft lip and palate. I wanted to tell her over and over how beautiful she is but in that moment, I was speechless. Here was my baby, crying real tears, sobs, because a little girl, a stranger, had asked, "what is WRONG with your lip?"
Instead, I let her cry and I held her as tight as I possibly could and I tried to come up with just the right words in my head to make it all better for her. And I prayed that God would give me the right words to comfort her tender little heart.
I am so thankful she came to me, she needed me to hold her and love her in her sorrow. She is so tender and so shy. We recounted together the evening and the encounter with the child who asked about her lip. I told her she did the right thing by walking away. I assured her that walking away from someone who is making her uncomfortable is ALWAYS the right thing to do and she has our blessing in doing so.....we also talked about how, although being kind is always best, if someone asks a question regarding adoption, her story, her lip or anything of the sort, she can tell them politely that it is none of their business.
Most importantly, we talked about her - her beauty, both inside and out; her love for her sisters, her ability to lead, her gift at being able to do anything she tries well - she is a fabulous dancer, swimmer, and artist! I told her that she must always hold her head high, knowing that her cleft is NOT at all what defines her but, instead, it is a mere part of who she is.
And then we looked at pictures of our beautiful girl, young and old. And we researched cleft lip and palate so she knows exactly what she was born with and what has been repaired.
This girl has taught and continues to teach me so much. Please join me in praying that my girls will always embrace their heritage, their stories, and their lives. All three of them are precious in His sight!
