Monday, November 25, 2013

The Wait vs. The Pregnancy Test

Often I can be known to compare my bio pregnancies and births to my adoption experiences.  Though there are obvious differences between the two, there are very subtle similarities as well.  One similarity that is lurking closeby lately is the month-to-month pregnancy test.  I remember with our boys, buying the test each month, taking the test, and then waiting with the most anxious mind ever for that LONG one minute wait to see if we were pregnant or not.  It was that "I really want to look but I really DON'T want to look" feeling, the one where you know you will be so disappointed if it is negative - but also the feeling of knowing how excited you will be IF the test is indeed positive.
MK's story is a bit different because the process was a bit different then.  However, with Maddox and MG, the parallels are present.  Every month, a new list is released from China.  Our agency will call and let us know a few days in advance when to expect the release of the new list.  And then release day comes, and our agency - along with hundreds of other agencies in five different countries - diligently attempts to match children from the list with their forever families.  From what I have been told, the list is released one minute, and the children are matched the next.  Very, very quick process.  While this is all taking place at our agency, we are given a three hour window of when to expect our phone to ring IF we are one of the lucky families to be matched.  Its the "test."  For three hours each month, our family waits by the phone, checking to be sure we haven't missed a call, praying the phone will ring with news on our girl, knowing that if it doesn't ring, we must continue to wait.