15 (16) Things You Should Never Say To An Adoptive Family....

I "borrowed" this post from another blog. Some apply to us, but not all. Probably my favorite is #14. Adoption has always been on my heart. Before adoption became a reality in our personal lives, I remember reading my "trash" magazines and seeing photos of celebrities and their children. The captions would (and still do) read, "so and so with their son, blah, and ADOPTED son, blah...." My response to this was always, "Why? Why does it matter if a child was adopted or bio or whatever?" It should not matter. A child is a child, and their family is their family no matter how they all came to be.

1) "Were they a package deal?"
2) "Are they real sisters? They are? Really? What a blessing they have their REAL sister."
3) "Can I go get me one of them too?"
4) After repeatedly saying they're beautiful, and having a 5 year old tell you her beauty comes from her heart, you say, and I quote: " Well, you are beautiful on the outside too and that is what counts."
5) Frantically pointing to a multi- racial adoptive family, and exclaiming loudly, "My daughter loves to look at girls like those. Look Honey, see those Chinese girls? Look at their eyes."
6) "Oh bless your heart. Nobody would have wanted a child with such extensive medical issues. You must be a saint to take her."
7) And let's not forget the pathetic attempt at humor: "Which aisle did you find them on?" or "Look what Home Depot now sells."
8) "How much do they cost?" "Did you get a discount for getting two since the little one is in a back brace?"
9) "How did you get 2 purty ones? Did you get to pick them out yourself?"
10) And of course everyone's favorite: "You can't have....you know, ummm.... your OWN kids?"
or another version- "Did you try to have your OWN kids before you resorted to adoption?"
11) "Girls, do you know how lucky you are?"
12) "I hear China throws their girls out like garbage. Was your daughter found dumped on the road?"
13) "I bet they're really smart. Is that why you adopted from China? All Asians are smart you know."
14) "This is Ryan and Beth, and their sons Colin and Pryce, and their ADOPTED daughter Mason-Kate."
15) And last but not least: "Why didn't you adopt from the U.S.? Why would you pick China over your own country?"

Now, I must add a number.......

16) "Why is she so brown and you are so not?".....though we have never been asked this by an adult, children will not hesitate to comment on MK's beautiful brown skin. Recently, Pryce and MK were playing at a park. A little girl approached Pryce and asked her the skin question. His response: "Well, it is because I adopted her from China!" Love that he said he adopted her from China....that ownership/protective spirit, perfect.