Will We Adopt Again?

Will we adopt again?
It is the question that everyone is asking next to wanting to know how Chapman is doing.
And I ponder it each time it is asked.  Children ask.  Parents ask.  Strangers ask.  Inquiring minds want to know!
The short answer - who knows what lies in store for our family.
The longer answer - well, lets begin at the beginning.
Adoption has forever been a part of my heart.  I even tried to convince my parents to adopt a child when I was still a child.  I even called a caseworker to inquire about a little girl who was in foster care....I was maybe in early high school.  I spent countless hours playing adoption center.  It was a dream that I never ever would have thought to come to fruition in my real life.
And fast forward many years.  Two happy, healthy, gorgeous boys....two excellent pregnancies, two crazy fast deliveries.  But we wanted more.  And the pregnancy route was not to be.  I remember a traveling singing group came to our church when I was very young.  They sang a song with the lyrics "when God closes a door, he opens a window, a window, he opens a window so I can see...."  And at this moment in my life, a door had been closed and a window was opened.  And a possibility of making a lifelong dream of mine come true came to fruition.
MK was our first.  She was our first girl, our first adoption.  And because of the whole adoption experience, the paperwork, the travel, the friends, the expenses....I distinctly remember saying I could never imagine adopting again from China because a second experience would never be the same as the first.  It was kind of that feeling of "how can I ever possibly love a second child the way I love my first" that some mothers tend to wonder.  And, financially, no way could we have ever imagined being allowed the opportunity to adopt a second time.  So, we said MK would be our first and last adoption.
And then came Maddox.  Our sweet, sweet Maddox.  Oh, how this child came to us with such hesitation.  How my heart ached for her.  Again, I remember thinking "well, this is it!" and I almost cried as we went to leave the hotel to begin our journey home....I just knew she would be our last adoption.  And I was just growing to love this country that gave me my daughters.
And then a nudging here and a heart to heart there.....and we were back in the chase for Maryn.  Maryn was, for sure, going to be our last.  The process was different, the wait times were longer....we waited and waited and waited.  And then finally we found her!  And we traveled so quickly and our trip home was AWFUL - and I said to Ryan, "Please, please remind me of this stress when I suggest we adopt again!  We are not going to do this again!"  This, as we walked through the airport back and forth between this counter and that trying desperately to get on a flight, any flight home!  Though my sweet Maryn is truly a gift to all of us, I, as well as the rest of the family, declared that she would most definitely be the last.
A whole hand.  We had a whole hand.  Not an even number like I like but a whole hand.  We were full.
And then that cold December morning when I saw Chapman's face appear on my computer screen.  We were the first to know of her.  The only to know of her.  And I knew she was ours yet I couldn't grasp adopting again - the cost, the paperwork, we were just finally feeling all settled in.  Yet, I knew. At the end of the day, when I look at Chapman, I am reminded of Isaiah 55:8 which states: "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are my ways your ways declares the Lord."
At the end of the day, only He knows the answer to everyone's favorite question of whether or not we will adopt again.  Truthfully, I will tell you, no, we won't.  But,  that is my answer, not His.  Only God knows what is to come.
In the meantime, there is much work to be done.  Children live too long in settings that are less than desirable conditions and without the love of a family.  This makes me beyond sad.  I want them all to have a home and I want them (orphans) all to know that they are worthy of life outside of the sterile walls they wake up to day in and day out.  Where people truly do not understand why we do what we do, I find it hard to grasp why others don't do more!?  It is by far the most mind boggling thing to me.  Host a child, sponsor a child, help a family financially who is adopting, offer words of encouragement to those who are waiting, pray for the orphans, pray for the children who will never have a chance to be adopted, pray that families will continue to come forward and adopt - trust me, all of the above is needed.
"Adopting one child won't change the world: but for that child, the world will change." - unknown
And I promise, whether you adopt or support an adopting family, not only will a child's life change, but yours will too!