Reality

Truth be known, today hit hard. 

On a day to day basis, it is so easy to go on with our day to day lives, living, doing, and doing and living....not even blinking an eye that our girls were born with a congenital birth defect.  

They are so smart.

And loving.

And capable.

And determined.

And healthy.

And happy.

Etc., etc.

We came home with each of them knowing that multiple surgeries were in their future.  Not one.  Not two.  Probably three or four along with extensive orthodontic care.

But, firsthand, I can tell you that "knowing" a child will need surgeries and "living" a child through surgeries are two different things.  I remember taking magazines to read when MK had her palate repaired.  What in the world was I thinking?!  That was the longest 3 1/2 hours of.my.life. 

Reality.  She was no longer the child in the picture we had stared at for months.  She was my daughter, a part of me, and I could not wait to get the next update call from the OR telling me that she was ok.  

Fast forward five years. 

Today, MK and I went for an ortho consultation.  I totally anticipated them saying something to the effect of her not being ready for her big bone grafting surgery where they take bone from the hip and graft it in the gumline.  However, reality hit and we are closer than I wanted to hear.  Like, six months we will begin the official grafting prep.  Again, this is something we knew was coming but I wanted to cry when I actually heard the doctor state that it was needed sooner rather than later.  

And I looked at MK's face and I could tell she was scared.  

She is only six.  And my heart hurt today for her and for what she will endure.