Defeated.

That is how I feel today.

My "healthy" kiddo has been blind as a bat for probably longer than I am willing to admit - poor guy, how many times can you say, "Mom, I can't see the...." Um, the answer is SEVERAL times and your mother STILL doesn't choose to listen. Yep. For truth, as MK likes to say. I didn't listen UNTIL we went to the dr for a check-up and they said, "Well, his vision is 20/80!" I STILL remained in denial until the actual eye doctor said, "Well, lets put it this way, if he were driving a car, you would not want to be his passenger." OK. And then, for a brief moment during the more intensive part of the examine, a wave of fear swept over me. What if his horrid eyesight was something more serious? What if? What if? What if? Ryan and I have never worn glasses. Why would our child need them? Thankfully, the fear was gone soon enough and we were whisked into the eyeglass store to try on glasses. Can I tell you that not only could my child not see, but his own mother LAUGHED when he tried on his first pair of glasses. Yep. Mother of the year :) I am blaming it on shock and anxiety.

He looks stunning. And older.

Also during his check-up, we were told to see a dermatologist. OK. He has this mole that I have asked and asked about and the dr. chose this particular visit to say, "You know, it is discolored and misshapen. He needs to be followed. And maybe have that one removed now."

OK. So we have glasses. We want contacts. The mole may need to be removed but he definitely needs to be seen. What else you ask? Well, his mouth. Orthodontia. To wait or not to wait. One ortho says wait. One ortho says act now, like yesterday now.

And all I am hearing is "Cha-ching, Cha-ching, Cha-ching...." just like the little old cash registers used to sound.

And then there is Maddox. If you know her, you know she is just precious. And yet, she struggles to get those words out. And, up until now, we have been so encouraged. And, truth be told, we are still encouraged yet we just have "those" days where we feel defeated. She is improving with speech yet it is no where near where it needs to be. Today, we were told we have 20 visits with our insurance for speech therapy. 20. When your child is seen three times a week, those 20 visits don't go far. So, we are spent. Of course, we will do what needs to be done to continue therapy but it just breaks my heart for her....she tries so hard and yet you can just see her deflate when she knows she isn't saying something the way it should be said. Surgery in the Fall might be an answer. Or more time. Or a combination.

Tonight the blog serves as my own pity party. Earlier today my mother served as my pity party. She graciously listened and said little. I needed that.

All will be well.

On happier notes, MK is busily preparing us all for the Roar Of Love ballet this weekend. She is making her stage appearance as a Firefly. The Roar is based on The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe and is a remarkable performance to see. I asked her tonight who she was standing beside in line and she said, "Well, you know, the one that is lower than me? That girl." Hmmm. The one that is "lower" meaning "shorter."

Pryce finished up his first official season of soccer. A few goals. Several good plays. Not too shabby for a first timer! On to baseball season....

C, well, as I typed up all of his recent woes, I have yet another to add.....ear infection. Today he complained of pain and much like I responded to his eyesight woes, I just told him it would feel better after a warm shower. Not so much. It is 10pm and Ryan is out searching the world over for ear numbing drops....

And, Maddox. Well, she had a mishap today. And lets just say that I am thankful for Babies R Us gift cards at the moment because we are in need of a "Maddox-sized" potty in our home. Poor baby girl fell in. I have potty trained four children thus far, one being my niece. Maddox Ren is my fifth and she is the first to fall in. Amazing.