Maddox on Gotcha Day. We came to know this little face with the bottle attached....in China this is how she fed herself. She did not want anything to do with sitting down to be rocked with a bottle or cuddled....now, home one week, and she is all about cuddling up with mommy in the rocking chair to take a bottle....she still wants to hold the bottle but she loves being in mommy's arms while she eats.
I do not recall what the reaction of the foster family was when it was time for them to depart. I remember them giving me the baby and that was it. Maddox was not happy and I was so concerned with her that I didn't even think to wish the family well as they left. Ryan did make a point to go over to the foster father and thank him.....the foster father then pointed to the foster mother and Ryan went over to her. He tried to hug her and she stood stiff, then turned and left. Ryan believes it was just too much for her.
This is how I held Maddox for a bit of time on Gotcha Day....she was not happy, inconsolable and could not find a comfortable position. Pryce was always close by to monitor how she was doing :)
With the foster mother within reach, Maddox was content with the activity that surrounded her.
Going back a bit.....Gotcha Day. Gotcha Day. The day we got our Maddox. The day we had all anticipated, the day we had all longed for. Looking back, the Civil Affairs office was very dark and cold. We rode an elevator half way up to the room where the babies awaited us and then we got off and had to walk up a flight of stairs. There were three rooms, all foggy with smoke. Upon arrival, I quickly scanned the room for Maddox and could not find those eyes. I knew I would know her eyes, they are so defining. A thought of, "Oh, what if the foster family has decided they want to keep her and they aren't going to turn her over for adoption?" crossed my mind. This has happened. This very scenario is why we were told MK was taken to the orphanage several days, maybe even a couple of weeks, prior to her Gotcha Day by the foster family. That horrific thought soon left my mind and I found myself indulged in the face of our daughter, Maddox. She had arrived. There was a man, the foster father, who was snapping pictures as fast as he could. He was all smiles. There was another man holding Maddox, the son-in-law, and he looked like he needed a bit of space. Soon Maddox found herself a bit overwhelmed and in need of comfort from her foster mom. The foster mother took her and comforted her, telling her "jie jie" and pointing to MK and then smiling at the boys and saying, "ge ge" aka "brother." The foster mother sat down beside me, placing Maddox standing between her legs. Maddox was bright eyed and was taking it all in quietly. She muttered not a word. Pryce was so affectionate to her, knowing not to get too close and offering her the little Gerber Puffs. She kept going back for more. MK flitted around in typical MK style, calling Maddox's name and trying to make her smile. Colin waved and smiled and offered her his hand to hold. Ryan played with her, held her eventually and then went off to do paperwork with our guide. In the midst of all of this, I sat with a woman who had cared for my baby girl for at least the past 10 months of her life, she spoke to me and I listened. Though our language was not the same, I understood every word. Her eyes told the story. She loved Hua You Ren, she was happy for her and she was so glad to meet her forever family. It came time for the foster family to leave. I remember our guide telling me that if we had specific questions we needed to ask them right away because the family would be leaving very soon and they would not be returning. We took pictures. Following the pictures, I remember them giving me Maddox, putting her into my arms....and the tears flowed. She was so sad. Her little tiny body flailed backwards and she cried hard, the largest tears I have ever seen. The children offered more Puffs. We tried to read a book. They tried making funny faces. Nothing worked. And so she cried. She would stop momentarily, sobbing all the same and then the tears and wails would come on again, only harder. So pitiful. The other two children and their families were content. Our Maddox was inconsolable and I sat there desperately wanting to leave that building and take my baby girl away from her pain. Finally we were allowed to leave and we traveled back to the hotel. Upon arrival, we ordered Papa Johns pizza - no surprise there - just as we did three years ago on the day that we welcomed MK into our family. Our evening was calm. Maddox was quiet. We all took in that evening, little by little, and enjoyed our new addition.
Going back a bit.....Gotcha Day. Gotcha Day. The day we got our Maddox. The day we had all anticipated, the day we had all longed for. Looking back, the Civil Affairs office was very dark and cold. We rode an elevator half way up to the room where the babies awaited us and then we got off and had to walk up a flight of stairs. There were three rooms, all foggy with smoke. Upon arrival, I quickly scanned the room for Maddox and could not find those eyes. I knew I would know her eyes, they are so defining. A thought of, "Oh, what if the foster family has decided they want to keep her and they aren't going to turn her over for adoption?" crossed my mind. This has happened. This very scenario is why we were told MK was taken to the orphanage several days, maybe even a couple of weeks, prior to her Gotcha Day by the foster family. That horrific thought soon left my mind and I found myself indulged in the face of our daughter, Maddox. She had arrived. There was a man, the foster father, who was snapping pictures as fast as he could. He was all smiles. There was another man holding Maddox, the son-in-law, and he looked like he needed a bit of space. Soon Maddox found herself a bit overwhelmed and in need of comfort from her foster mom. The foster mother took her and comforted her, telling her "jie jie" and pointing to MK and then smiling at the boys and saying, "ge ge" aka "brother." The foster mother sat down beside me, placing Maddox standing between her legs. Maddox was bright eyed and was taking it all in quietly. She muttered not a word. Pryce was so affectionate to her, knowing not to get too close and offering her the little Gerber Puffs. She kept going back for more. MK flitted around in typical MK style, calling Maddox's name and trying to make her smile. Colin waved and smiled and offered her his hand to hold. Ryan played with her, held her eventually and then went off to do paperwork with our guide. In the midst of all of this, I sat with a woman who had cared for my baby girl for at least the past 10 months of her life, she spoke to me and I listened. Though our language was not the same, I understood every word. Her eyes told the story. She loved Hua You Ren, she was happy for her and she was so glad to meet her forever family. It came time for the foster family to leave. I remember our guide telling me that if we had specific questions we needed to ask them right away because the family would be leaving very soon and they would not be returning. We took pictures. Following the pictures, I remember them giving me Maddox, putting her into my arms....and the tears flowed. She was so sad. Her little tiny body flailed backwards and she cried hard, the largest tears I have ever seen. The children offered more Puffs. We tried to read a book. They tried making funny faces. Nothing worked. And so she cried. She would stop momentarily, sobbing all the same and then the tears and wails would come on again, only harder. So pitiful. The other two children and their families were content. Our Maddox was inconsolable and I sat there desperately wanting to leave that building and take my baby girl away from her pain. Finally we were allowed to leave and we traveled back to the hotel. Upon arrival, we ordered Papa Johns pizza - no surprise there - just as we did three years ago on the day that we welcomed MK into our family. Our evening was calm. Maddox was quiet. We all took in that evening, little by little, and enjoyed our new addition.
1 comment:
Our son sobbed the first day for hours. That's when you realize what grief really is.
Glad she's cuddling up with you now.
Ruby
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