A lengthy catch-up post....

To describe the past few weeks in a few words or less....busy, busy, extremely busy.  However, I am feeling blessed, blessed and extremely blessed by the busy.  School started.  Not a shock to most who read this as I know most are mothers too and most can relate to the overwhelming feeling that accompanies each new school year.  With the beginning of school comes the beginning of piano, ballet, football, soccer and Wednesday nights at church.  And co-op.  Throw in an orthodontist appointment for the removal of braces, annual well visit to the dr. for Maddox (she made the charts!!!  woo-hoo, we are now in the 5th percentile for height AND weight),.....and did I mention we are babysitting our neighbor's child this year?  Yes, Ava has come on board and we all get a few laughs each day from her very animated stories she shares with us.  AND, we are adopting!  Our adoption is nothing new but I will say that we have been super engaged in raising the necessary funds to get her home.  We had our first ever boutique consignment show in our home and I am happy to report that it was a success - we will be continuing to do this sale each season in hopes of assisting other families financially in the adoption process or funding surgeries for orphans with our proceeds.  Very exciting indeed.  An enormous THANK YOU to all who consigned, donated hanging racks, shopped and supported our family.  AND I ginormous thank you to Katie and Jesse for keeping it all together - they were the core who handled check-out and sorted tags and even highlighted each sale price for easier viewing.  AND, to my dear friend, Amy Rankin.  Amy is an exceptionally talented artist and she generously donated a piece of artwork for our family to use as a raffle during the sale.  The bonus for us is that we were able to share Amy's story with friends - her family is adopting again too!  Check out her art at 2540designs.com, you will be amazed!  

The end of the sale came and I felt an urgent need to contact the USCIS to see if our final approval had been issued in order for us to proceed with getting our paperwork to China, thus ending the first "trimester" of this adoption journey.  

I sent an email inquiry.

Minutes later I got a response that made me SHOUT for joy - we had been approved on August 21, 2013, and we should be expecting our approval any day in the mail - WOO-HOO!!!

My excitement quickly turned into a dismal worry when I checked our mailbox that day and the approval notice was not in our mail.  It had been five business days so theoretically we should have received our approval.

And I will admit that this entire process, I have not worried one.little.bit. nor have I been anxious - my prayers have been for peace in this journey.  But on this day, I worried big and felt anxious.  After all, it is the end of this part of the journey and we are SO close to being paper ready.  Our next step will be a referral and, admittedly so, we all want to know her face.  

I soon relaxed and went about my day knowing that it would come the following day.

But, it didn't. And I was super sad.  And just as I was about to go eat three entire scoops of ice cream from Brusters to wallow in my sorrow, I received an email from our agency stating that they had received their approval copy and we could make a copy of theirs and use it for our dossier!!! JOY!  Thus began two hours of notarizing, copying, banking, county certifying, and FedExing....oh, and did I mention that during all of this, we had to pick up children from co-op, Ryan graciously took on the task of dressing three little girls in their ballet gear and getting them all to ballet, football practice, soccer practice, and a meeting.....bless Ryan and all that he does with a smile on his face.  He said all was well until a little lady smiled and said, "You might want to turn her tutu around.  It's backwards." Love him!

So, barring any unforeseen circumstances, our dossier/paperwork will be going to China this Friday!

And our approval notice?  Well, it STILL has not come in the mail!  So thankful our agency came to the rescue!

And, now, pictures from our last few weeks.....Colin's new smile and his photobombing brother.  I simply love these two and their wittiness. 

Sweet Chloe - I was asked how it feels to actually see "my little girl" home forever.  We all know she is not mine but she will always hold a special place in my heart and it truly is surreal to see her walking around in my home, playing with play doh, interacting with my girls, eating at our table....surreal.  Her family adores her and the feeling is mutual.  They relish in her daily achievements - she is doing something new everyday!  She sorts colors, she dances, she says words, she ate an entire piece of pizza, she climbed a rock wall, she was brave enough to ride in the jeep with Maddox driving, etc., etc., etc.  She is beyond precious!  I think the best news I heard this week was when a fellow adoptive mom called to say she could assist in getting Chloe the extensive speech and occupational therapies she needs!  This child is a symbol of hope for others who wait entirely too long to be loved!  

A birthday party by the lake, what more could one ask for?  My mother celebrated her 69th year of life on earth surrounded by her closest friends and family.  Even the rainy weather did not drive them away!  My brother and his wife deserve a pat on the back for a job well-done in preparing this gathering to honor my mom!  Thank you Chris and Amanda!  

The grandchildren and Gran/Grandma.  Again, getting a picture of more than one child is quite a task.  Throw in the fact that it was the end of the night, all children had either had entirely too much Coke to drink or were totally exhausted from all of their game playing.....thus, the animated photo with the grands minus the one who was off to the side melting on the floor.

And with all of that said, here's to another fabulous week!  

A quick synopsis of our week....

• Maddox started preschool on Monday.  When asked if she was excited to go, her response made me a bit nervous.  She said, "Nope.  I am not going to school today.  I am staying with my mommy."  And she said it so matter-of-fact.  So we went about our morning and when it was time to go to school, she climbed in the car, buckled up, sang on the way, we arrived, I took a picture, she walked in and never looked back.  When I picked her up she said, "Mommy, I had a great day at school.  I am going to go everyday!"  And she has been super excited to go each morning!  
• And the rest of our week has been consumed by our second fundraiser to bring Mary-Gentry home - Boutique Consignment/Consigning to Adopt.  I did the rack sweep by dashing from one friend's house to the next to collect hanging racks that everyone graciously donated; I tagged clothing; I moved the majority of our furniture from our piano room and living room into our bedroom; welcomed almost 40 consignors into our home; organized clothing; sent out reminders for the sale; blew up FaceBook with status updates on the sale; and, finally, it was sale time!  A steady flow of shoppers came in and out of our home Friday, Saturday, and Sunday!  Some were familiar faces, some were total strangers, all were showing their love for a little girl, our little girl. She is already loved by so many!  
• One perk in doing this sale is that we get to promote adoption.  Our hope is to use the proceeds each season from this sale to assist in bringing other waiting children home in the future!
• And in the midst of it all, my children were a bit neglected - they were fed, schooled, driven to practices, read to, etc., but not in our "normal" way of operation.  MK asked, "Mom, when are things going to get back to normal?"  I was feeling a bit guilty, knowing that I have not given them 100%, and I responded, "Soon baby, real soon.  I promise on Monday we will get back to our routine."  She looked at me with a bit of a grin and said, "Really?  You mean we can go back to having ice cream and dessert this Monday?  Awesome, I thought we had to wait until September!" And with that she skipped off!  Did I mention that our family gave up sweets for the month of August???? 

Photo Pile

She is home forever!  Miss Chloe Hope Taylor, a child close to my heart, a child that I prayed and prayed for, a child who needed her forever family!  For the longest time, I emailed and asked everyone I could think of to please go adopt this little cutie!  Lo and behold, her family was waiting HERE, in our very own town and it only took one by-chance meeting in Target and one time for me to share her photo to a friend, and bam, she was coming home!  Look at that adorable face!  

 My Nannie.  92 years old.  We went to visit her recently and she insisted on baking biscuits for us!  Her biscuits are to die for and we all had our share:)

 On Saturday, MK, Pryce and I took on the theatre to see The Lion King.  Fabulous show.

 What thirteen year old doesn't like to do laundry????

 Maddox and Ava on their first day of ballet!

 And from ballet, we went to football!  I simply LOVE that I have the privilege to parent both boys and girls - a sweet taste of both worlds!

 The majority in our house seem to prefer the silly-face look, especially when the camera comes into play:)  MK is all about Legos.  She will build and create and then build some more!  

 Photo op with Nannie.  We visited, we played the piano, we ate biscuits, we visited some more....I do cherish the moments that we have with her!

 Backing up a bit....our dear friends came home from Ethiopia with their three new little ones!  Lots of hugs and happy tears.

 Our two families, the fun they will have through the years to come!

 A beautiful photo of adoption....Samuel is hugging his big sister for the very first time.  LOVE.

 Miss Maddox.  Got yogurt?

 My littlest learner.  Maddox is all about school time when we are buckled down to learn.  

Random Thoughts

I loved seeing the first day of school pictures posted by everyone on Facebook.  My poor children.  I am most positive there is not a single "first day of school" picture of them except for the day they have gone to Kindergarten.  After that, it just has not happened.  And the cute signs, oh my word,....LOVE them, but, again, they did not make the cut.  For this, children, I apologize.  Please be sure to take pictures of my grandchildren on their first days of school and send them to me:)

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I have thoroughly enjoyed my time the past two weeks with my children.  Don't get me wrong, I adore them all the time but there has been something in the air these last two weeks that just seems to click.  We actually began school last week.  An eighth grader, a fifth grader, a first grader, and a preschooler, all under one roof doing school.  It has been beautiful.  If you know me well, you know that reading has never been my favorite past time.  If a book does not catch my attention right away, I typically do not finish it.  However, my absolute favorite thing to do with my children each day is reading to them.  Every morning at breakfast and most days for lunch, we gather around our kitchen table and as they eat their meal, I read.  We are currently on the story of George Muller.  We reach a point where I am so into the story that I am begging them to let me keep reading.
Not only do I read to the four of them each day, I have started reading a chapter book to the girls before their resting time.  Our book of choice right now is Charlotte's Web.  And everyday, around 2:00, the girls and I all squeeze into my big chair in the living room to read a few chapters.  Before long, Maddox is fast asleep as I continue to read to MK.  I love this little one and her cuddly little ways.

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And during the past two weeks, I have thought more and more about our newest little one.  Partly because we are so close to finishing our paperwork and partly because I followed the blog of a friend who recently visited China on a mission trip.  If you want to read an incredible story, visit her blog at www.popsiclesandpopcorn.blogspot.com.  It is raw.  There just simply aren't enough hands to care for these children nor are there enough voices to advocate for these orphans who desperately need medical intervention.  And though I have prayed and prayed for our girl, my mind is never far from wondering if she is being held and loved and soothed....it is troubling to think that my daughter is fending for herself, fighting for her life.
While we wait, we are faced with a minor challenge at home.  A name.  Gentry is my middle name, a family name, my great-grandmother's maiden name.  And we settled in on the name Mary-Gentry.  But Ryan doesn't want a hyphen.  So then we threw out another name, Maryn, pronounced much like Karen but with a M.  Maryn Gentry.  Ryan likes Maryn.  I like them both.  Three of our four children like both.  Our oldest has said no to every.single.name. we have chosen.  He says that when we come up with a "good" name, he will like it.  Sigh.

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Fall sports are here and I have one pumped up little guy!  Pryce will be playing football for the first time ever!  He is elated!  I, on the other hand, am not so sure that I am cut out to be a football mom....seeing my baby get "pulvarized," as Colin likes to call it, is just not on my priority list.  Hoping it is everything he dreams it to be!  He was thrilled the first night of practice when he was assigned the right tackle position - this was the position my father played in high school and college!

My Girls

Maddox, age 4, and MK, age 6.
I remember very clearly when the boys were these same ages.  Their games of police and bus driver, they were inseparable and their ideas and laughter were endless.
My girls are the same way.
They begin each day waiting for the other one to wake up.  And then the games begin!  Currently I am listening to them play.  We SHOULD be doing school according to our daily schedule.  However, I am  caught in listening to their tales of play.  Maddox just announced to her Mommy, aka MK, that she is going to go to Africa to pick up her baby, Candy Bar.
Goldilocks is in the game too.  Goldilocks, MK's beloved Asian Carolle doll with jet black hair.
And MK has gone from being Mommy to being "Dr. Mei-Mei."
And shots are being administered.  And awards are being promised for the "most obedient."
And laughter ensues.
And I am left here smiling knowing that memories are being made.

Maddox's birthday celebrations

Birthday morning and the first call came straight in from G-Mom and G-Dad to wish you a very special 4th birthday....

 and daddy cooked a favorite breakfast - mini pancakes just for his girls!

 Later in the day, it was time for your party!  This year you requested a family party and after I asked you over and over who you wanted to invite, you insisted you wanted your brothers, your sister, mommy and daddy....

 And you requested a Dragon Tales cake....and they no longer make Dragon Tales cakes....so, we improvised and made our very own ice cream cake and it was a hit with all who indulged in a piece!

 As we sang, you directed us to your preferred beat....

 and you blew out all four candles.

 Then, we took you outside and you saw what awaited you in our garage....

 Your exact words when you saw your new jeep were, "Oh, wow!"  

Your first words when you awoke on your birthday were, "Oh, good, now I can make up my very own bed!" We love you Maddox Ren!

This is FABULOUS! And oh so true! (5&6 being my favorites!)

Dear Friends of Waiting Adoptive Moms: Some Things To Know by the author at Wondermentetc.com

1. Your friend is not crazy. (She is adopting.)

There is, I will admit, a fine line between those two but still it’s good to remember. The international adoption of a child requires enough paperwork to kill a small forest. And more governmental red tape than you can believe. Imagine your longest, most frustrating trip to the DMV. Now quadruple that, add in twelve more governmental agencies in two countries, and remember it’s not a driver’s license you’re waiting for but the final piece of paper that says this family you’re creating can finally, finally be together. Yeah. Not crazy. But close.

2. She loves a child she’s never met.

It’s possible. So possible. It’s irrational and crazy but it’s reality. Does she love them like she will once she gets to know them? No. But she loves them. She wakes up loving them and goes to sleep loving them. She drives to the grocery story and aches to have them safe and snug in the carseat waiting for them. She pushes her cart around the store and hears a child cry and her heart pounds wondering if her child is crying? Alone? Hungry? She might even have to leave an entire grocery cart full of food in the yogurt aisle to go home and cry because it just is too hard. Way too hard.

3. It’s difficult having your heart on the other side of the world.

To people on the outside they don’t look like our kids, on paper they might not be our kids yet. But in our hearts we love these children like they are and yet we’re not together. We’re moms without children. It’s an ache that doesn’t go away. It starts before we see their faces and only ends when they’re in our arms. So we walk about with half our heart missing. It’s hard to breathe, to think, to speak. Something always feels missing. Because they are.

4. She is addicted to her email.

It’s okay. This is a temporary condition and most make a full recovery. It can be diagnosed by refusal to allow separation from her smart phone, or glassy-eyed concentration as she clicks “refresh” over and over and over on her computer. Other signs may include: waking up in the middle of the night to check because it’s X time over there, and muttering aloud “must get home, must check for update, must get home” while out in public.

5. Her child has been through trauma.

If she’s like a lot of moms she won’t be advertising that fact everywhere because she respects her child’s privacy. But children don’t come to the place of needing a second family because they were placed in a cabbage patch by unicorns and leprechauns. Adoption comes from loss. Loss she will see in her child’s eyes and in their heart. Loss that as a mama can make your soul curl up in a ball for an ugly cry. So don’t tell her the kids are lucky. You wouldn’t tell a person who lost an arm that they’re lucky to have a prosthetic one would you? I mean yeah, they are lucky to have that replacement. But you know what would be luckier? Not losing that arm in the first place. So please be understanding. Also, maybe instead of asking for her child’s story outright ask “are you sharing about his history before you?” That gives her a chance to either answer you or bow out graciously.

6. Adoption isn’t pregnancy.

It just isn’t. Well, it is in that at the end of it the hope is to have a new son or daughter in your arms. But I’ve yet to meet a pregnant woman who wonders how old her child will be upon entry into the family. Adoption is different. There is no due date for us. Let that sink in. No due date. And even given preemies and late arrivals with the baby by stork method you have a narrow months-long window of time in which the baby will arrive. That brings us to point number seven.

7. She probably doesn’t know when the child is coming home.

And she has probably been asked this approximately twelve times that day. Because you, her awesome friends, care about her! (And also you secretly worry she’s going a little nuts, see point #1.) And I get it. It’s hard with adoption because you don’t know what to ask. I feel that way with pregnant ladies, like what am I supposed to say? “Your ankles really don’t look that bad do they?” Recently I learned the always safe phrase “you look great – how is baby doing?”, the adoption equivalent is “I know you must miss your kiddos, how is the adoption going?” Or, if you don’t have time to have her break down and cry all over you try the even safer “can I see your latest update pictures?” and then ooh and aww over their cute faces. Even if the pictures are horrible say something positive. I mean I don’t tell people that their sonogram pictures sometimes look like aliens made of bread dough. (Except yours Amy B. Yours is the cutest thing I’ve ever seen.)

8. She isn’t sure they’re coming home.

This is the part of the adoption process that makes you want to crawl under your bed and not come out until it’s safe again. This is the part that tears you soul in two. This is the part that you wake up in the morning remembering and going to bed at night fearing. Because there are no guarantees. And that’s hard. No, not hard. It’s gut-wrenching. It’s not just the fear that your child might die before having a family, it’s that this child you love with every ounce of your being might grow up in an orphanage, on the streets, or worse.

9. Your friend is kind of stupid.

I know. That’s harsh. But it’s true. You try operating on a daily basis with only half your heart and half your brain, because that’s what it’s like. ‘Cause they other half of you is wrapped up in a tiny person who is half a world and what feels like a lifetime away. Also, because of the time zone difference it means that half of you is awake pretty much all the time.

10. She doesn’t need to hear your HAS (horrible adoption stories.)

Yes, I know, everyone knows of someone’s uncle’s neighbor who adopted a child and then the child burned down the school with the power of her mind after her classmates dumped a bucket of pigs blood on her. (Oh wait, that’s the storyline of “Carrie” isn’t it?) But sharing these stories are the equivalent of telling someone hopping in a plane for their first sky-diving session “I watched this video on youtube where a guy skydived. He died. And his body was all smashed and stuff.” Maybe it’s true but it’s also not overly helpful. Unless you’re the kind of person who also goes up to pregnant woman and says “I read a book about this lady who got pregnant one time, she gave birth to a kid who became a serial killer and sewed a suit of clothes out of his victims skin. (Shoot, that’s the storyline of “Hannibal” isn’t it? Well, I tried.)

Do “Adoptive Kids” sometimes grow up and do horrible thing? Yep. You know who else grows up and does horrible things? “Vaginal kids.” So really, the warning should be more along these lines: “You’re going to be a parent huh? Good luck with that.”

11. She has probably done her research

Don’t assume she’s going into this because of a driving urge to be mistaken for Angelina Jolie. Unless she is also demanding everyone call her husband “Brad” it probably comes from some deeper place. Or you know, her husband’s name really IS Brad. Chances are she’s read books on adoptive parenting, has agonized for hours over which adoption agency to choose from. Made a decision. Then agonized some more. She’s thought about the ethical questions. And if you don’t think she has then maybe ask. “How did you pick your agency?” “What led you to X country?”

12. She looks brave on the outside, she’s brave on the inside too. But she’s also a mess

Which, I think is what mothering and loving is all about. Being a mess. Throwing your love out there and not knowing if you’re ever going to get it back. It’s scary. It’s vulnerable. It feels like you can’t breathe and when you can it hurts to do it. And you don’t want to complain about that because you picked it. So you pick up the pieces of your heart and you keep going. You keep going because at the end of the day what you go through as an adoptive mother is nothing compared to what children go through when they live their life without family. And that’s what this journey is all about.